![]() ![]() ![]() Working through the affair made us stronger.”Īs happened with my friend, most affairs result from dissatisfaction with the marital relationship, fueled by temptation and opportunity. He’s a wonderful father, a stimulating partner, and while our marriage isn’t perfect - whose is? - we are supportive and nurturing of each other. I love him and respect him, I’m so happy we didn’t split apart. We learned how to talk to each other and really listen. ![]() Everybody should be allowed to make mistakes and learn from them. I was very focused on taking care of my son, and my husband wasn’t getting from me whatever he needed. But I also knew that if we were going to stay together, we had to go to couples counseling.”Ībout a dozen sessions later, my friend came away with critical insights: “I know I’m not perfect. I wanted my son, who was then 2 years old, to have a father in his life. My mother did that and she ended up raising three children alone. “But I realized that I didn’t want to get divorced. “At first I wanted to kick him out,” she told me. The latter was exactly the position a friend of mine found herself in after discovering her husband’s affair. Plenty of people care deeply for the well-being of their partners even while lying to them, just as plenty of those who have been betrayed continue to love the ones who lied to them and want to find a way to stay together.” Betrayal cuts to the bone, but the wound can be healed. Perel concedes that “some affairs will deliver a fatal blow to a relationship.” But she wrote, “Others may inspire change that was sorely needed. “The gift they provide to their families by working through the pain is enormous.” “People who’ve been betrayed need to know that there’s no shame in staying in the marriage - they’re not doormats, they’re warriors,” Ms. Perel and other marriage counselors have found, couples that choose to recover from and rebuild after infidelity often end up with a stronger, more loving and mutually understanding relationship than they had previously. The good news is, depending upon what caused one partner to wander and how determined a couple is to remain together, infidelity need not result in divorce. As more women began working outside the home, their chances of having an affair have increased accordingly. The incidence is about 20 percent higher when emotional and sexual relationships without intercourse are included. Marriage counselors report that affairs sometimes occur in happy relationships as well as troubled ones.Īccording to the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy, national surveys indicate that 15 percent of married women and 25 percent of married men have had extramarital affairs. It has existed for as long as people have united as couples, married or otherwise. Though most often it involves explicit sexual acts with someone other than one’s spouse or committed partner, there are also couples torn asunder by a partner’s surreptitious use of pornography, a purely emotional relationship with no sexual contact, virtual affairs, even just ogling or flirting with a nonpartner. I put the word cheated in quotes because the definition of infidelity can vary widely among and within couples. We strategically work to build the capacity of stakeholders, and provide access to information and resources.Marriages fall apart for many different reasons, but one of the most common and most challenging to overcome is the discovery that one partner has “cheated” on the other. Innovation: We foster lifelong learning for students, parents, staff, and community members. Families are welcome and empowered as advocates and leaders to support their children. Respect : We honor and celebrate the diverse cultural values and beliefs of all PSUSD families. Partnerships : We are dedicated to strengthening school and family relationships. We promote and utilize effective two-way communication with our families in order to establish trust, respect, and positive relationships. We recognize that sustained parent engagement positively impacts student success and academic achievement. All families are valued and encouraged to act as advocates, leaders, and stakeholders to support their child’s academic success. Palm Springs Unified School District Family Engagement Center Belief Statement: It is our fundamental belief that families and community members are essential partners within a school district and that trusting and respectful relationships must be intentionally cultivated. ![]()
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